Light of my Life

It’s not his fault the English language is so messed up

Posted on: July 26, 2007

Logan likes to play a game called “Germ Counting” online. It involves two of his favorite characters, Charlie and Lola. Lola has a cold and needs help counting how many of each different kind of germ she has in her mouth.

Logan loves this game, but insists the word “germ” is pronounced with a hard g. Now, his Leap Frog Letter Factory video taught him that the g says “guh,” so you really can’t blame him.

But we’ve had arguments that could’ve gone on for days – “Jerm, Logan.” “No, gurm!” “JERM!” “GURM!” He doesn’t believe me. He’s not impressed by my credentials at all. He doesn’t care that I studied grammar all through elementary and middle school, that I tested out of it in high school, or that I have a business degree from one of the finest business schools in the country. If I can’t keep straight the simple fact that the g says “guh,” then I’m not to be trusted.

So the other day Logan noticed the mouthwash bottle in the bathroom. “Look mommy, ‘kills gurms.'”

If I were smart, I would’ve just left the bathroom right then. But I care about my gums, so I continued to floss. “It says ‘kills jerms,’ Logan,” I said calmly. “Kills GURMS!” was the predictable reply. Then he pointed to the bottle and said reasonably, “Is this a ‘j’, Mommy?” I looked at him. He knows his letters. “Uh, no Logan, that’s a ‘g.'”

“That’s right, it’s a ‘g’. GURM!” He looked at me in satisfaction.

He left the room, but it didn’t end there. I found him a little while later in the living room, writing on his Doodle Pro. He had written “jerm”, then marked through it with a big X. Above it, he’d written “germ”.

I don’t think the child will rest until he manages to get through to his poor, stupid mother.

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About Me


I'm Erin, a 32-year-old homeschooling mother of three, doing my best to raise my children in the Catholic faith... (more)

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